To Be, Or Not To Be...That Is The Question

I was reading a post by one of my friends on WDWMagic today and it got me to thinking. Lately, I've been taking a little stock of my life. Trying to figure things out for the next 5 years or so when I will likely have a baby and somebody on the forums asked the same question I've been asking myself over the past few months.

To be or not to be...that is the question. But you may ask...what is the exact question? To be a stay at home mom or not to be....it's a hard choice and one that I'm going to have to deal with sometime soonish. Granted, I'd still like to wait 4-5 years before I have that child...but the options that I choose now for my life, are going to impact what happens when I do have that kid.

My mom is always pressuring me to get a different job. One that pays me more money and allows my smartness to shine through. I think she thinks I'm being stiffled working for them. Me, I love it, but she's right...it doesn't pay all that well. I don't make as much money as I could be making, but with the hours I have and the ease of the job...the money is secondary to me.

Plus, WHF and I usually don't have too much trouble with paying for everything we have. We can afford to live modestly. I can afford things like the internet, sattellite dish, going out to eat periodically, and doing things like going to the movies or putt-putt. We aren't hurting but we're also not rolling in the dough. And part of that has to do with the fact that I don't work near as much as I "should" be, nor do I get paid near as much as I could.

But what happens when we decide to have that baby. Of course a baby is going to be an hugely added expense (but don't get me wrong...one I want to incur on myself. I think I would be empty inside if I didn't have a child.) but will we have enough money to be able to support ourselves once that baby comes?

As of right now, I'm not so sure. I mean WHF is doing well at his job. And I know they're basically trying to groom him for being a real accountant where he works. And then, I'm sure he'll be making enough to support us...even more than he is now.

But I'm not really worried about him. I know he'll be able to support us no matter what. No, my fear is me. As my friend was talking about online...how do you decide wether to be a stay at home mom? Another friend of mine pointed out that you need to consider living on one income vs. living on two incomes + paying for child care are you working to get your family ahead or to pay the babysitter? In our situation as it stands right now...I would fall into the category of "paying the babysitter". WHF and I have kinda looked into it very informally and I make just the exact amount that childcare would cost. So, in that respect, it would be very stupid of me to work. We wouldn't be getting anywhere with me working in the job I'm in right now.

And I would have no grandparents to watch said child, if I decided I wanted to go back to work. So, paying for childcare would be an absolute must. WHF's parents live 2 hours away...just far enough to not be able to watch their grandkids day in and day out. And my mom wants nothing to do with grandchildren. She basically thinks I'm absolutely nuts for wanting them and tells me on a regular basis, I will not watch your children. (Which very much hurts, but that's another discussion topic). She has a hard enough time watching the DOG for me on a daily basis.

So needless to say, as it stands now, I'd have to be a stay at home mom, if I continued on the path I'm on. Not that I entirely have a problem with that. I could see myself as a stay at home mom and it doesn't entirely make me upset.

But what if I do want to work? That means I should be looking for a new job...right? One that would help to contribute to our family when we have kids. Not just pay the babysitter. But truth is, I'm happy where I'm at and I don't want to leave because my job is so great.

So thus lies my conundrum...and one that in a way, I've unfortunately got to deal with myself. Because WHF wouldn't really understand all of this. Sure, I can explain it to him and he can give me advice, but he wouldn't truly understand. But it's something I should be figuring out soon. Because 5 years isn't that long of a time...and I'm already feeling the baby itch. In a way, this decision is one of the most important decisions I make in my life...because the outcome will change it forever.

So how do you know what to do?